You Can't Stay There On the Floor or That Is Where You Stay

I recently saw this advertisement for a t-shirt for fibromyalgia awareness. On the front of the shirt there was a cartoon of a woman lying on the ground with a circle drawn around her. The words above her said: It hurts here. I think of that cartoon often, not because it is funny but because of the stark reality of it. Someone was trying to make dark comedy of it, but if you stay there, the humor is lost. You can’t stay there on the floor or that is where you stay. I know because, even though I didn’t get a diagnosis of fibromyalgia until around 2016 or so, I know I had it well before then. I didn’t bother going to a doctor about it. I already was mourning the arthritis diagnosis and a few others. None that would kill me, but all that would never go away. I was watching as my once strong body was losing more and more, and I could do nothing about it, and from what I had read, there was nothing I could do about fibromyalgia.

I have a total of 13 chronic illnesses. 3 of them are mental and the rest are physical. I have a primary doctor, a psychiatric RN, therapist and 4 specialists in my speed dial. I take 14 prescriptions and a hand full of supplements and use Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils® to help me manage side effects and sometimes to help me get over ailments that might otherwise bypass some over the counter meds I can’t use because my body doesn’t like them. I have been a professional sick person since 2014. But it started before then. And I have had more.

I kicked cancer‘s ass and stopped taking 3 meds in the last year, only 1 medication was related to the cancer. I have also managed to finally figure out how to lose weight after a lifetime of being very fat and I am working on getting to a healthy weight. As I get smaller, I plan to drop specific meds because I don’t see a need for them.

Everything is about balance, what my labs say, and logical process. So far everything is going well. My doctors know everything I am doing. I hide nothing. It would irresponsible to do that. Why would you hide intel from the team that has helped you find success? I fired the ones that didn’t work, so I know the ones that are still here are the best for me.

If I sound flippant, I am not. I am a woman that has been through all stages of mourning: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. With each new diagnosis, which felt like physical pain and loss, I lost a piece of myself. I lost illusions that I once had believed I would have certain things, I had wanted. As people I had served with love, left me alone and with no help, I had to look around and see that the only ones who were left, had only love to give, but they knew what bravery was and they taught it to me. Without them, I would have ended it all. But I am here because they helped me learn to look in the mirror and see what they saw when they looked at me. A valiant, strong, smart and capable woman. Not perfection but someone who would become something unshakeable about who she is.

The things that were once so important to me, are not anymore. Honesty, integrity, and knowledge is vital to me. But not in the way that some people use it to hurt people. I like to use it to try to keep my mind open and adaptable, so that I can try to bend with others because when you are chronic, you have to be fluid.

Jamie Holloway and I have almost died several times. I don’t know how Karen G Clemenson has made it through. I know she has carried me with her head down, while I am crazy until I know Jamie has made it again; not sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time, constantly researching new things to help her or me get through this, or make her life better when she is able to get back to her normal, or whatever that is. I think Karen must just work when it is me; anything to keep breathing until I am cussing out the nurses, which tells everyone that I need to go home because I do not thrive in a hospital. There is no creativity there.

But being a chronic person never stops. I have been told by people that I should not call myself that, or I should not say that I have a phone phobia in my voicemail message. I don’t know why they think I should not be honest. I think, they think, I should not be so open about it. But I believe my honesty makes them uncomfortable. But candor is part of my life. It is with me everyday. And in reality, if I tell you that I might not answer my phone messages and that you should call my wife if it is really important, you know what to do, if you really need to reach me. I don’t have the luxury of being afraid, or rather letting fear stop me. By being straightforward we all can get where we need to go. If I hide my shortcomings, we might miss out on the blessings of sincerity.

I am a blessed woman. I have a wife and a sister that are amazing. We carry each other. We are safety to each other. Not everyone has that kind of refuge. We have earned that with each other. If I let my fear get in the way, what is the point of hope? Why get off the floor?

That is how I live. I might only get 15 good minutes in a day. But if I do my workout and all my self-care, eat well and try to get some good sleep, think positive and feed my mind good things, maybe another 15 minutes will come. Maybe I will get a few good days. I am not going to buy that t-shirt. I don’t want to advertise being on the floor. I want to take a picture of anything good I did that day and showcase it. Even if I only get a few good minutes, that is what I want to focus on. The floor is something I want to stand on and sometimes even dance on.

If you are needing help creating a Wellness Plan that works for you, please Contact Wellness Works NW at 360-270-3880. Karen G Clemenson is a very caring and authentic person and she is looking forward to talking with you and helping you define your Wellness Goals and strategies. I hope this article answered questions you had and was easy to understand. If you would like us to write about a particular topic that you can’t find on this site, please send us an email on our Dear Jamie page and someone from Our Team will be glad to research and write about your topic.

Image Credit: This picture was taken by my brother, Josh. I can’t tell you how proud I am of him and his floors!

Ask Dear Jamie

I hope this article helps Fuel Your Wellness. Please leave your comments below.

Summer D Clemenson is a co-owner Clemenson Enterprises, LLC and Wellness Works NW. Summer her wife, Karen G Clemenson’s personal motto is Creativity, Honesty & Positivity are a must! This mantra helps them stay community and wellness minded in all they do. Summer is an Independent Wellness Advocate at dōTERRA. Summer also writes poetry and inspirational blogs @ GoodTimesAlways.com.