I wasn’t planning for The Importance of Self-Care to be the next article I write for Wellness Works NW; I knew a blog about self-care was brewing, but it wasn’t until Monday afternoon that I understood the timing of this article. You see, Veda is here. If you haven’t read my article about Veda, I will let you know that is what I call the depression that overcomes me at times and tends to push me in directions I don’t want to go. At some point I decided to name her something so that I wasn’t getting mad at myself for my feelings that can be really opposite of what I want to be experiencing. When Veda comes, she makes me VERY tired. So fatigued that it can feel impossible to do anything other than lie in bed and feel bad. It was all I could do to get out of the car and go to bed after church on Sunday and even my little nephew could not get me to fully wake up, and I REALLY love him.
I have a good reason to be so tired. I am chronically ill and I haven’t worked much for a long time and the last two weeks I have been working to help Karen market the company and plan some great changes in the coming days; we even started having weekly meetings with all the managers to collaborate. On top of that my brother from another mother, Josh, had his birthday last Thursday and I spent what energy I had left over from working, cleaning, preparing and cooking for his shindig…which turned out to be amazing and fun for everyone. But in reality since I have been doing my self-care regularly for the last month or so, I have more energy than I used to have and I should be able to bounce back with just a few extra naps…so as much as I didn’t want to admit that the little terror is here, it is true Veda has come for the holidays.
My counselor suggested that we find a church. Truth be told, Veda usually talks me out of committing to a church body, but every time I see Geoff he asks me if we have found a church because he knows that my spiritual health is an important part of my mental and physical health and he knows I want to feel connected to my community. He suggested we visit Longview United Methodist Church because they are very community minded. We have been there 4 times and Karen and I really feel like God is telling us that this is home for a season. I have never been part of a Methodist church before so this is a new experience.
The people at Longview UMC are so friendly. I think the biggest strength this church has is their ability to make relationship top priority. I have never been able to experience this before. That is not because the other churches I went to were lacking, but because I wasn’t ready to feel this; Sometimes my perspective of my surroundings is not always the same as it is for others. I really want to learn how to be in healthy relationships and I am ready for healthy relationships now…thanks to God, Karen, Jamie and a few others who have helped me see that I can change and I want to change.
I have heard the word Advent before but I don’t recall being taught about it. Sunday was the first day of Advent, which is emphasized greatly in the Methodist church. The pastor was teaching that the word advent means to prepare. So now I understand that Advent includes all the things we do to prepare ourselves to celebrate that birth of Jesus.
Oh my! Veda was getting ready to show up as soon as the Christmas tree went up and she arrived the minute Pastor Rene’ asked me if there are any traditions that I enjoy during Advent…
Monday would have been slept away if Karen hadn’t come home for lunch and woke me up at 1:30…I begrudgingly got out of bed to eat something and take my meds and then went right back to bed. As I could hear her cleaning, it only fed Veda more because as much as Karen works, I should be the one that takes care of our home. In desperation I started praying about my feelings.
When I was done praying this is what I realized:
Most of my relationship issues are because of things that happened in my past. Self-Care has nothing to do with the past, it is all about today and tomorrow.
Processes are important. I have found that most of the times that I felt the most successful, I had planned ahead and prepared as much as I could. This article might seem moot to you if you are healthy and have most of your life under control; I am talking to those of us who are chronically ill. I keep thinking about the questionnaire at the doctor’s office that asked me if I brush my teeth every day…at the time I have to admit that there are days that I have forgone this simple task.
It can be so overwhelming when you are chronically ill, whether it is physical or mental or both.
Since October 21, 2017 I have been working really hard to keep the promise to do all my self-care (journaling is wonderful for so many reasons)…I have different things I do to answer the needs of my body, mind and spirit. These are things I do everyday:
- Workout
Stretching and strength training helps my fibromyalgia and also my balance and mental health. - Drink 1 bottle of water
- Tidy my bed
Making your bed is one thing you can do to help you feel like you accomplished something. It is also nice to climb inside a bed that isn’t all twisted and disoriented at the end of a long day. - Take care of my cat.
Xavier is my companion animal and his care is part of my mental health routine. - Prepare my sinus rinse bottle
I have bad allergies and using a sinus rinse really helps. Also respiratory and sinus issues are symptoms of some of my diagnosis’s and side effects of some of my medications so this is also a way to support my body. - Floss my teeth
- Brush my hair
You would be surprised how many people don’t brush their hair every day. Brushing your hair keeps your hair from matting, and if you aren’t washing it that day helps you feel better. - Grab a clean wash cloth and my bag of toiletries and head to the bathroom
- Rinse my sinuses over the sink
- Use my Flonase.
- Brush my teeth
- Use mouthwash
I tend to have inflammation in my mouth and being mindful to keep my mouth clean helps keep the inflammation at a minimum. - Wash my face and any parts that need attention
- Apply deodorant
- Apply moisturizer
Even if you aren’t wearing makeup that day, moisturizer helps your skin feel happy and it also can help protect your skin if you go outside from the sun if you buy the kind with spf in it. - Get dressed
Getting dressed helps you feel ready in case anyone comes for an unexpected visit and also will help you be inspired to do other things in the day, even if you are feeling blue. On the days I plan to take a nap right after I am done with my self-care I still change my clothes; people who are chronically ill are often exhausted by their self-care routine but getting dressed really helps you mentally feel like you accomplished something. - Leg Care
I have lymphedema so there is a series of creams I apply to my skin and bandages I use for compression. - Put socks on
The skin on my feet really appreciate this…I used to not care but I realize that loving my body must include things that I might not want to do. - Eat breakfast
- Take medications and supplements
- Bible Study, Prayer, Journaling
Whatever you do to create a calm mind and get focused is important for your mental and spiritual health. - Make my To Do List for the day
There are processes for all parts of life. Some processes are daily and some are weekly, monthly and as needed. Your processes are probably different than mine. The process of getting ready to meet the day and it’s demands is not hard for healthy people but for people who are chronically ill, homebound or even retired, having a daily routine will help them feel healthier and more productive. Many people struggle during the holidays with depression for lots of reasons. Sometimes they are lonely or the things we do to prepare for the holidays may trigger bad memories. If you are a person who lives with your own Veda or if you love someone who who has depression please be mindful that they may be trying really hard to get through the day and the season.
If you are experiencing the holiday blues, depression, or especially with suicidal thoughts please call someone you love or a professional to talk to. Here is a link to a List of Crisis Lines in our area namiswwa.org/mental-health-crisis-line
- Cowlitz County Mental Health Crisis Line: (800) 803-8833 or (360) 425-6064
- National Suicide Prevention Helpline: (800) 273-8255
I hope this article helps Fuel Your Wellness. Please leave your comments below.
Resources & Start Learning More at:
- Bible Gateway: Proverbs 4:20-23 NKJV
- Clemenson Enterprises: Her Name is Veda
- Related Articles:
Summer D Clemenson co-owns Clemenson Enterprises and Wellness Works NW with her wife, Karen G Clemenson. Their personal motto is Creativity, Honesty & Positivity are a must! This mantra helps them stay community and wellness minded in all they do. Summer also writes poetry and inspirational blogs @ ClemensonEnterprises.com. Her crochet art can be viewed and purchased @ KnottyWares.com & she loves special orders!
